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Hey beauties
Day 4 is completed.
It was a day of replenishing. God replenished my energy, my hope and my trust.
Saturdays are hard for me as I have an ‘eating-junk-over-weekends’ kind of mind-set. Eating breakfast, I felt this fear gripping my heart. What if I fail today? I had to give that fear to God and wow, did I experience His true nature of LOVE. His perfect love casted out all my fears (1 John 4:18). After breakfast, I got to dance with Jesus in this perfect environment of His love, enveloping me. I laughed with Him and for the first time I could tell Him that I love Him, without feeling constraints in my heart. It is true. I love Him, without love for any idol of food in my heart.
I love Him, without love for any idol in my heart.
God showed me His character of Balancer today. Again, while eating breakfast, I ate a fruit, thinking I don’t need anything else. This used to be my mind-set when I struggled with anorexia. I used to eat as little as I could in order to lose weight and feel better about myself. Did I feel better about myself? No. My body was never skinny enough for myself. I never had the perfect dancer’s body. It made me feel hopeless and worthless but I kept on punishing my body for not fitting into the mould I created for it. This morning my scale tipped. I went from a mind-set of overeating to a mind-set that I do not want to eat too much. In that single moment, I asked God if He wanted me to eat more. The answer was a stomach growl. Even after my fruit, I was still hungry.
In this situation, I realized that God is not a God who wants to deprive His children. When He provided manna to the Israelites, He provided enough for them. He wants our bodies to be fed and nourished so that we can carry out the work He has called us to do. Eating too little is definitely not His heart either.
When He provided manna to the Israelites, He provided enough for them. He wants our bodies to be fed and nourished so that we can carry out the work He has called us to do.
So how do I know how much to eat? Well, I do not. I eat until satisfaction hits. I eat asking for a prompting and stepping out in faith to be obedient to the prompting. There are times when I think that the food He wants me to eat will never be enough to sustain me to the next meal but every time I’m proved wrong. Not once have I felt dizzy because of a lack of food. He sets pleasant boundaries for me (psalm 16:6).
I am reminded by how when any baby is learning how to walk, parents do not get angry when the baby slips and falls. No, parents help the baby up and they are patient with the baby. Well, in this journey I am still a baby. I am still learning every day, falling sometimes, struggling to get back up but I have a Father who gives me a little push to help me up. He reaches His hand out to help me stand up. He softens the fall.
I am still learning every day, falling sometimes, struggling to get back up but I have a Father who gives me a little push to help me up. He reaches His hand out to help me stand up. He softens the fall.
I am enjoying this growing season. I am learning so much more about myself and about God. Growing means I will get growing pains. I cannot escape that part of growth but I can endure it with Jesus at my side, rubbing the ache and soothing my pain with His lovingkindness.
So girls, my prayer tonight is that you will welcome the growth happening in your own lives. I pray that you will seek out Jesus in this growing season and that you will experience His Fatherly love.
Nighty Night
Lots of Love
Inge xx
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