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Hey ladies
Have you ever heard of a city of refuge (Numb. 35)? It’s a city where a person finds shelter when that person killed another by accident. They run away to the city in order to be saved from revenge by the deceased’s family members.
I am currently living in a city of refuge
I am currently living in a city of refuge. This was my only alternative when I was in danger.
I killed my own body and mind for years on end, beating it to death. At first it was an accident but then it became a habit. I needed to run even if I murdered on purpose, even if the intentions of my heart was foul. I needed refuge.
I was the prodigal daughter returning to her Father.
My dear friend, God is awaiting you with open arms as well.
I ran to the boundaries surrounding the city and was accepted with open arms. I was the prodigal daughter returning to her Father. There was a feast in my honor. The fattest lamb was slain and the best wine was brought out. (Luke 15: 11-32)
My dear friend, God is also waiting for you with open arms. In what area of your life have you rebelled against God, taking your inheritance and wasting it on earthly pleasures? It’s time to return to the Father’s open arms. It’s time to forgive yourself.
I know what it is to hold a grudge against yourself. I’m an expert in that field. Whenever I act out in disobedience, I feel so disconnected from God, putting space between us because of my own sin. I struggle to look God in the eyes because I know that I’ve been disobedient, but most importantly, I know that I’ve let Him down. Therefore, I opt for wandering off, seeking some fresh air, trying to clear my head. But in the process, I get bitten by the snake of lies and I push God away when He tries to tend to the wound.
Whenever you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
So today, I’m making the mental decision to forgive myself for murdering my body and soul
Whenever you wrong someone, how do you apologize? You do it with a sincere heart, you ask the person for forgiveness and you say sorry. Why is that not true for God in our minds? Why do we think we have to beat ourselves up, torturing our souls until we feel better about the situation because we’ve destroyed ourselves? Remember one thing friends, God sees our hearts. He looks into it and He sees our motives. When you apologize, remember that He has forgiven you already on the cross. Allow His blood of forgiveness to flow over you.
So today, I’m making the mental decision to forgive myself. I forgive myself for murdering my body and soul and I celebrate the choice I made to run to the city of refuge where I’m safe between the good boundaries of the Lord.
Lots of love
Inge xx
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