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Hey ladies
Lot’s wife looked behind her. In the distance was the city she so dearly loved. The city was alight, burning, under attack from the heavens (Gen.19:17). Her heart broke. It’s there where her treasure lay; It’s there where she was happiest. If she followed these men, she would never have that kind of joy again.She would never be able to live so free, without boundaries ever again. Her soul would die at the goodness these men offered (Genesis 19:1-38).
I’ve felt the big hole that loss created in my heart. I’ve smelled the fire devouring my safe haven.
Oh, doesn’t this sound familiar? I’ve been Lot’s wife time and time again. I’ve looked back at the lost city from which I was supposedly saved . I’ve felt the big hole that loss created in my heart. I’ve smelled the fire devouring my safe haven. What I didn’t realize was that the haven wasn’t really as stable as it seemed, because it was devoured by the flames, licking it clean, leaving only rubble, ashes and dust. Despite this, I would run back, seeking out the solace I used to find there, building a new habitation on the unsteady rubble. Only to find myself at that same space again a couple of months down the road.
Not this time. This is my escape. I’ve finally seen the ‘haven’ for what it really is: a prison.
I almost peeked back again this time. I almost wanted to run back to the soft, cunning warmness of my prison; however, the rose-coloured lenses I used to look through, has been removed by God. Suddenly, I saw the dullness of it. It’s not so rose-coloured in real life. It’s actually very dull.
Despite my hesitation to take Jesus’s stretched-out hand, He still looked at me with the softest mercy in His eyes, knowing what my heart has endured to get to this point; knowing what I thought I had to give up. Nevertheless, when I reached out to grab His stretched-out hand, I was free.
I could see the land of milk and honey in front of me.
The prison walls were falling in. The doors opened. I inhaled the fresh air that made my body tingle with expectation and excitement. I could see the land of milk and honey in front of me. The glistening pools of water, the softness of its embrace and the reality of its goodness. This is no rose-coloured view, this is what is awaiting me.
Only a couple of steps more and my feet will touch the land of goodness which is now my inheritance.
Lots of love,
Inge xx
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