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Hey girls
It is a hot summer's day with the smell of fresh cut grass lingering in my nostrils, the shrieks of children playing next to the poolside creating a harmony and the coldness of an ice-lolly on my tongue.
I used to wish I could be one of those girls who could eat anything and everything and never gain a single kilo.
This same picture of joy, used to evoke anxiety inside of me. I used to be anxious about family gatherings on days such as this, knowing that the abundance of food will trigger me to pig-out and eat too much, leaving me feeling fat or ugly in my summer dress. I used to wish I could be one of those girls who could eat anything and everything and never gain a single kilo.
This drove me to seeking perfection and having a strong drive for achievement. If ever I did something, it had to be perfect. I had to receive praise from everyone around me in order to feel loved, good and needed.
I had to face the elephant in the room
Through this journey, I had to face the elephant in the room. The real scar left in my heart was throbbing from pain and oozing puss because I did not ever allow God to heal it. This journey provided the opportunity for the wound to be opened up and healed.
The realization came like a light shining in the darkness, the silent peace after a storm
The healing came with the simple realization that I do not need to be perfect for God, achieving perfection with every meal and waiting for every meal. I just need to be obedient. This realization came like a light shining in the darkness, the silent peace after a storm. It settled in my heart.
Now, when I stand on the scale, I do not have to feel down if I only lost 0.3kg because I know that it costed me obedience and not the weight of perfection. No longer, do I have to break down and cry if I was not obedient for one single meal and therefor didn't achieve perfection. I can rejoice that because I was obedient in the rest of my daily meals. The burden is taken from my shoulders.
What are you chasing after that is impossible to achieve? What area in your life are you seeking perfection in? Ask God to break that spirit of achievement and that drive for perfection. Ask Him for a personal revelation of His truth towards your heart.
I pray that every woman seeking perfection will be relieved from the burden on her shoulders. I pray for eyes to be opened up and hearts to be healed in order to be able to enjoy those summer days again, which the Lord has created.
Lots of love
Inge xx
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