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Hey Ladies,
As I am writing my last blogpost in the Bloom Blissfully series, I am in awe when I think about how God marred my heart, shaping me like clay in His gentle potter hands. I hope that all the ladies who journeyed with me can also feel the life-changing difference in their hearts.
I believe that God has prepared us to finally bloom blissfully, unveiling each part of our inner flaws and beauty for Him to see.
In today's blog post a friend of mine, Lisa, is sharing her testimony. But before I share her testimony, I want to share how God provided a dear girlfriend to share the last testimony. As I was nearing the last week of the 'bloom blissfully series', I knew I needed one last lady to share her testimony on the blog. My simple prayer to God was that He would provide someone that'll be willing to share her testimony. That same day, Lisa sent me a message, asking me how she would go about to start her own blog. After I had a good long chat with her, I eventually asked her if she wanted to share her own testimony and it turned out that she was keen and extremely excited to share one of the most vulnerable moments in her life, for the sake of making a bigger impact in other women's lives.
Lisa is a loving and loyal woman of God, never afraid of growing her roots deeper into God's heart. My simple prayer today is that her story will transform your perspective and help you to grow fonder of our Father:
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."(Romans 12:2)
Vulnerability is, at the least, extremely uncomfortable. Being aware of one’s shortcomings is one thing but facing them is quite another. It’s easy to cast our cares on the Lord and at the same time fight our own battles when we know that they are small enough for us to handle. It’s harder to cast our cares on the Lord when we have not faced the complexity of our own flaws causing the battle, scared of its capacity to cause us distress.
This battle we're facing, becomes a personal foe, a monster to lock away deep down inside of us. I had to face this monster, uncaged, with God at my side. This monster was my past.
As I sat in the living room of the church leaders at the church I attend, I felt defeated. I felt defeated to have to come again after being through the same ordeal almost a year before. I felt frustrated, feeling as though I’ve tried my best to lead a holy life. Despite taking every precaution I could by trusting God, praying, and reading the Bible, I once again was in need of deliverance of what seems to have been the same strongholds as a year before.
It’s easy to cast our cares on the Lord and at the same time fight our own battles when we know that they are small enough for us to handle. It’s harder to cast our cares on the Lord when we have not faced the complexity of our own flaws causing the battle, scared of its capacity to cause us distress.
My frustration was rooted in the hopelessness I felt, sitting at the same place as before. I was convinced that all necessary stones had been turned and all strongholds in my life had been taken from the devil’s grasp and placed in God’s authority. This caused me to blame myself, weighing what I possibly could have done for the devil to prey on me so hungrily once again.
Luke 10:19: I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.
As I sat anxiously on the living room sofa, I told my church leaders about the spiritual attacks I had been experiencing. Fear-ridden attacks that woke me up at night, gruesome dreams, graphic flashbacks of past pain, and dark bouts of inner turmoil and anxiety plagued my conscience. I knew these occurrences were attacks cast against me by the devil, as the Holy Spirit guided me in discerning the truth. I relayed my frustration to them, not understanding why the devil was tormenting me when I know that he has no authority.
Through the counseling session, it became apparent that not all strongholds in my life had been addressed a year ago as I had thought. The monster that I left locked up in a dungeon deep inside of me was wreaking spiritual havoc. I had been too ashamed as to even mention my past to anyone and had not realized that the devil still had a foothold on me because of the monster I was locking away (Ephesians 4:27: and do not give the devil a foothold.)
James 5:16: Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
With the strength of the Lord, I laid everything bare before the church leaders and God. I spilled the beans about childhood trauma, two years of struggling with drug-abuse and decaying mental health, and the sexual sin in-between childhood and adulthood. Whilst recounting my struggles with sexual sin, I cried in pain and shame. It became apparent that God wanted to heal the festering wound I felt from past sexual sin and trauma, where the devil’s foothold still stood. I submitted these areas of my life once and for all to Jesus, obliterating the stronghold of the devil (James 4:7-10: Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn, and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.)
No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me,” declares the Lord. (Isaiah 54:17)
After the counseling session, I had the ability to make my soul at ease with the fact that I was unscathed, that the enemy had not harmed me in any way. In fact, by baring it all to Christ, His power and dominion over the devil and His grace to vanquish shame, was revealed to me. As I made myself vulnerable before God, He showed me that through Him, the victory is already won
Romans 8:37: No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For the last time as part of the 'Bloom Blissfully Series', I want us to pray together: "Jesus, thank you for transforming every part of us and that we can live in Your freedom. Help us to seek You in our daily lives and may we build a steadfast relationship with You by knowing and living your Word. Thank You for loving us with Your endless love and strong passion. In Jesus' name. Amen."
Lots of Love,
Tehillah
xx
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